The Grey

IMDb Link

Well, if you don't like flying, or if you're afraid of dogs/wolves, you might want to give this film a skip. I hate flying and I had no idea what the story was about and now my insomnia is somehow gonna get much worse. I'm already stressing out about the hypothetical next time I'm gonna fly.

But... Back to the film... Starts with some zen bullshit about a suicidal sniper. Then there's a big plane crash.
Then you expect to watch 'Alive 2.0.' Or 'The Thing' (creature killing people in the snow) Or 'The Edge' (animal(s) stalking people) Or 'The Blair Witch Project' (evil thing killing people in a forest) or 'Cliffhanger' (high altitude, snow) or 'Better Off Dead' (because: snow. Plus the title would totally fit this film). If you've seen 'The Player,' you just KNOW that's how this film was pitched. so, anyway, you know: snow. (that rhymed by the way. Respect.)
And, yeah: That's pretty much what you get. To their credit, they do mention 'Alive' early on.

Neeson is pretty awesome as the sad/honest/ruthless guy, as always. But there is so much death and so much snow and his character misses his wife so much... I mean... Did the director say: 'So, Liam, yeah... Don't think about your wife who died in a freak ski accident a couple of years ago.' I don't want to sound like an asshole, and I don't think I am because I was thinking about his wife the whole time he
was talking about death or loss. Was this film his therapy? If yes: Okay, cool. If no, then: damn! Liam's
a tough mofo. Speaking of which, I don't know why, but it's weird to hear him say the 'F word.' And by 'the F word,' I don't mean 'Flying' or 'Funicular' or 'Fennel.' I do indeed mean 'fuck.' I don't even know why I'd censor myself at this point. Except for my own amusement.

Anyway... So, the film's about people who are dying, plus it's cold. And then wolves come into the picture. Quite literally. Well, I mean they come into the movie. Not wolves actually orgasming on screen. Although...

So, there's a whole ecological theme (they work for an oil-drilling company, 'We don't belong here!' or 'You're not the animals, we are the animals!'), which I find boring. And of course in the group there's an asshole/idiot/doubter and there's a religious/spiritual guy and there's a (and here I'll use a 'South Park' character's name) Token Black (who's the only one who can't handle the high altitude. I shit you not.) and there's a dude who strays from the group and a second after thinking that he's gonna die, he totally does. I might be wrong, but this might be a textbook definition of predictability.

By the way, I get it that Neeson's character is all zen about death, but you see it once, you go: 'Yeah, okay.' Then twice and you go: 'Hmm... Why not.' You see it three times and you go: 'We get it already!' Although him looking at the sky and talking to God and calling Him/Her/It 'motherfucker' is pretty cool (previous feelings of 'uncomfortability' related to his real life not withstanding). I half-expected a Terry Gilliam animation to appear, or a big bare foot to squish him. Same difference.

All in all, it's about a group of guys who bond and try to survive, so they fight and they talk, and I have
nothing against that... But it just felt so... 'Blah.' I wasn't bored to tears, but I was not on the edge of
my seat, either. I did like the ending, which some people might think is unclear. But it's as clear as day in my opinion. And it's also the only logical ending. So if you're a logical person and know that this is about a bunch of dude stalked by wolves in bumblefuck, you can imagine how it ends. Or can you?

On a kind of side note, I have to say I really loved how the director switches from dreams to reality. Literally with a bang. Plus, all the fantasies/hallucinations all involve women/girls. Score one for the feminists: the female of the species is the male's reason to live! And, apparently, all males are fathers and they all carry pics of their children and, more surprisingly: they all have the same model of wallet (pleather, baby!). And on yet another side note: a letter written on a flimsy piece of paper will survive snow falling on it, tears, sweat from fingers, fire from a plane crash and more snow and some white water bullshit. And then more snow.
I don't know what kind of paper he used for that letter, but damn. My theory about this film's secret meaning is that he used WOLF HIDE to write his letter. That's why it never gets damaged and why the wolves are after him. Think about it.

Oh, and wolves understand English, apparently.

By the way, Dermot Mulroney looks like, in this film, a slightly disfigured Robert Downey, Jr. And he is also a very underrated actor.

So, in concluding: the plane crash scene is not bad (but the tension leading up to is quite good), the dream scenes switching to reality are great. And fuck wolves. Seriously, if you ever see a wolf after watching this film, you'll want to punch it in its arrogant snout. And you totally should. And also: fuck snow. Literally, if you're into that kind of thing, but I meant figuratively. Wolves and snow deserve one another.

Oh, and of course: fuck nature. I get it, the whole film is saying: 'Joo fuck wid natoor? Then natoor's gonna fuck wid joo, ese!' In this scenario, nature is played by a caricatural Mexican gang-banger. However, if nature fucks with us, I say: 'Fuck you, nature!' I reckon the key word in this sentence might be 'fuck.' But it could be 'nature,' too. Think about it.

Now, I'll admit it: the howling and growling in the dark is spooky. Had I been in this situation, provided I had survided the crash, I'd have pooped my pants 3 times an hour, every hour. At the end of the day, some people might wax lyrical about this film being an allegory of death or whatever. But, no: It's about dudes trying to survive, and getting killed in the process. Well, actually, in the end it's about Hollywood wanting your money. But what isn't nowadays? So, yeah, ok. I've got another analysis about the film's secret meaning: The men represent audiences, trying to plow through their meaningless lives. The wolves are Hollywood and the kills represent blockbusters like 'Titanic,' or 'The Avengers.' And the snow, of course, represent the giga-kilos of coke they do to come up with ways to fuck you out of your money.

Think about it.

I am so gonna write the sequel, with dolphins replacing the wolves. This time the guys won't just get killed, they'll get raped first. It'll be: 'The Grey 2. This time they want to explore YOUR blow hole.'

I realize my opinion wavers back and forth in this 'review.' I have to say I didn't hate it, but I certainly didn't love it either. It was predictable, contrived and pointless. But at least people died, so that made my day.

PS: I know most Americans are dumb, but to see a wolf in Alaska and to ask: 'Was that a coyote?' Come on. Even dumb Americans grew up with Wile E. Coyote, who lived IN THE FUCKING DESERT! (well, it's kinda Monument Valley in the cartoons, but it sure ain't Alaska!). I'm guessing that if that character saw a polar bear he'd go: 'Woah! Is that a squirrel?!' And when he sees a car, he'll go: 'Hey, is that one of them bicycle contraptions?'