Seven Psychopaths

IMDb Link

Let's imagine more than three people read this and it becomes a big thing and they decide to quote me on the poster, well, that's what I'd say: 'A whacky, crazy, fun, funny no-holds-barred roller coaster ride.' (send the check to my Turkish bank account, thank you). Or, more to the point: 'Fuck, yeah, motherfucker!'

Yes, it's fun and entertaining. I giggled like a Japanese pre-teen spotting Martin Cloon at the airport.

First, thanks to my friend for telling me about this film. I can see why he liked it. A dog owner goes ape shit. Because if anyone kidnapped his dog, he'd go ape shit, too (and he'd be right, I'd be right by his side loading his guns and piercing eye balls with barbed wire and what not). Plus the main guy's girlfriend is called Kaya. Shit... I think I've cracked some kind of code!

Anyway... This was a priavte joke for, like, 3 people, so let's move on...

If you don't get a little bit hard (or wet or whatever your incilnation/biological set-up is) whenever you
see a new actor pop on screen like a star-studded whack-a-mole, then there's something wrong with you (and if there is indeed something wrong with you, sorry, no offense, it was just a manner of speaking). Really, you see some guys show up on screen and you go: 'Oh! That's so and so' and you start clapping (well, you wanna anyway) and then you see some guys and you go: 'Oh, him. Yeah. He's famous. Whatever. Not a fan.' But then that guy gets shot in the head and it's awesome. You also have Colin Farrell giving his eyebrows a rest (for the most part) and Christopher Walken doing the best Christopher Walken impersonation ever. I don't mean that in a completely bad way... One minute he's all about one-liners, doing his shtick, but then he gets quiet and it makes you shit your pants. In a good way. I think. My dry cleaner agrees.
Woody is all bad ass and kinda cool. Then it takes just one line and you go: 'Dude, not cool. You gotta die now.'

This is not only a film gloryfying violence, it's also a metaphor, a parable, or a whatever about violence in films. The main character is a screenwriter and I'm usually not a fan of this, but here it works. He is anti-clichés, but writing about psychos. His friends, who are all psychos, want to help him write it. They're all for the violence, he's not. So they berate him and help him anyway. But it's also about real-life (well, in the movie world) psychos.

This is going to sound insane when you think about all the awesome people in there, but you know how you can tell this is a cool film? Because Kevin Corrigan is in it. That's right, I've just said that.

Meanwhile, the movie references go left and right... Dude's talking to his reflection and his last name is 'Bickle.' Another dude's last name is Kieslowski. There's also a bit of 'A Fistful of Dollars,' because come on: shoot out in a cemetery! And some 'Paris, Texas,' because: desert and Stanton.

One thing I didn't quite understand, and let me be clear that it didn't bother me, is why two of the main character girlfriends are black. Also, why not? Sure. But I have to say I thought there was going to be a connection (and that wouldn't have been too cool). Is it just because I've been brainwashed by Hollywood
and my little white world feels threatened by the fact that two different white dudes have black girlfriends? I sure hope not. Let's move on...

I'm surprised there was no mention of 'Dexter,' though... a killer killing killers... (that's a fucking band name right there: The Killer-Killing Killers. Although the abbreviated form might not go down too well...) Also, the opening was fun because of who it is and what happens, but I have to say it felt a bit too Tarantino-y.

The only problem with his film is that you giggle so much (and when I say 'you,' I mean 'I') and, in your head (or, you know, texting your friends) you go: 'Walken's da man!' 'Rockwell's da man!' 'Woody's da man!' 'Waits' da man!' 'Harry Dean's da man!' 'Željko's da man!' (But, Željko, dude, come on: eat something, you're looking thinner by the day, this worries me! And I'm not even being sarcastic here, I truly like you, man!)

So, it's an entertaining film, and you can see the cast is thoroughly having fun, just like in 'In Bruges.'

I have to say, I loved the following lines: 'She's possibly not a cunt.' 'What are we? Making French movies now?!' 'You can't let the animals die in a movie, just the women.' And they're all from Rockwell's character. Hells yeah. On top of that, he's got some of the best anti-(or possibly pro-)Irish lines.

Now I wanna see: The Magnifient Seven against the Seven Psyhopaths after they fuck up the seven dwarfs and talk about 'Se7en.' Is that too much to ask?