Machine Gun Preacher

IMDb Link

WTF? Is this a propaganda film backed by the pope? Well, no, of course it isn't. The pope doesn't give a shit about Africa. But it does feel preachy and propaganda-ish.
When I first started watching, I thought: 'If it's not based on a real story, then it's 100% propaganda.
If it IS based on a real story, then it's only 90% propaganda.' Well, turns out it's based on a real story.

So here are the problems I have with this here film...

The guy comes out of prison, screams at his wife because she's found a real job and quit her pole dancing, then he shoots up in a bathroom and robs a dealer at gun point (shooting a couple of guys in the process) then stabs a crazy guy.
In other words, he's a junkie asshole (so: an asshole) with murder in his heart.
But then, he goes to church one day and he finds God and he starts to do good to people: he goes to Africa, he builds a church and an orphanage and all that.

Speaking of a church: During a village attack, the safest place for everyone to go to? The church. Yes. Put the whole village in an inflammable enclosed space. Good call. But, hey: the Lord protects them, so that's cool.

Also, it seems the only 'local' word he knows is 'yallah.'
To be fair, at some 'emotional point' in the film, his friend asks him if he really thinks God will forgive them for everything they've done and he can't answer that. Then again, he'd just sniped a kid. And, right after that, because in films all the doubts are piled on in the same 5 minutes, he's called a mercenary and he's talked about in the same way Kony was talked about at first.

Because, yes, this is about the shit Kony does. You know: Kony, the African flavor of the month,
supplanting the Somali pirates and the Darfour atrocities. Kony is the new guy to hate, didn't you get the memo? Haven't you read all the angry Tweets about him? Yes, you should hate him. Until we all forget about him and move on and let him massacre some more people.

I have to say I am starting to wonder about Michael Shannon. When he first appeard on the screen I thought it was cool because he was so completely different from his psycho character in 'Boardwalk Empire.' But he ends up being 'saved,' too. So he ends up being a religious nut. I at least expected him to try to touch Butler's girl or sleaze on Butler's wife. But, no. He's just a good guy now. Thanks to God. Hallelujah. All it takes after a life of assholeishness is 10 minutes in a church. And then you're a saint. Until your friend says something kinda mean about you. Then you die.

Also, and I'll probably go to hell for saying this (although all I've got to do is get baptized and repent and then
it's Heaven for little old me!), but the Africa scenes felt clichéd as hell. Yes, it is horrible what's going on there, but it felt like the director and screenwriter got a program called 'African-atrocities randomizer' and ended up getting villages being burned, kind white people helping helpless black people, mines, limbless people, children and women being super sad but putting on a brave face, etc... The only thing missing, surprisingly, is the main evil guy dressed in a military outfit, with a beret and mirrored sunglasses, smoking a cigar and justifying himself to the white man.

Then there's one kid who's looking for his family, but to make sure that white audiences recognize him whenever he's on screen, he's got a big scar on his face. Because: Awww, a kid with a scar. Poor dude (and if the scar is real, and it looks like it is, then really: poor dude!). But I can imagine the producers talking: 'Yeah, this is an unflinching hard-hitting gritty authentically real look at what's going on in the country of Africa [sic]. Those poor guys. So, let's cast a kid. But, and you know I'm not a racist, but they kinda all look the same, so make sure you get a kid with a feature that makes him stand out. Like a scar or something. Or maybe DiCaprio could do it? A bit of shoe polish could do the trick, what do you think?'

So, yeah: everyone is always depressed in Africa. Except when white people come to help. Then they're thankful and grateful. And of course the white people back in America live lavishly, wasting money, drinking booze and not giving a shit about anything. Well, okay, that last part is true.

But, hey, he really needs money, he's pissed off, he says the devil wins if he doesn't get money so he makes the ultimate sacrifice... This being America, he... wow... this is so emotional, I have a hard time saying it. But, no, I must be strong and tell it the way it is. Otherwise the devil wins... So... He decides to sell... his guns. My God. His guns! What kind of world do we live in where a white man has to sell his GUNS to help black kids in Africa?

Speaking of guns, correct me if I'm wrong, but where in the Bible does it say: 'Thou shall not kill, unless the person you want to kill is an asshole, in which case: knock yourself out.' I realize holy books have been misinterpreted even since they were mass-printed (and probably even before that), but still... It seems wrong to kill people, without a trial or anything, even if they are clearly evil. Hell, from their point of view, they're doing the right thing (which, let me be clear I do not condone in any way shape or form. Nor do I condone a white man killing them. Then again, they are forcing children to kill their parents, so fuck them).

And of course, the evil Muslims killing the innocent Christians have RPGs and machine guns and the ones protecting themselves don't even know they should clean their weapons (until a white man tells them to, that is). And the (black) nurse helping a wounded kid needs to be told by the white man: 'Tell her she's gonna be ok!' And so she does. Thank you, white man! I was going to tell her: 'You're about to die now.'

Oh, did I mention that at some point he turns into Rambo, finds weapons and starts kicking ass? Well, he does. He becomes an RPG-launching, sniping sharp shooter running faster than bullets. Because he's a white man, don't you know. But we never see him telling the kids: 'Well, I'm giving you all this shit. You're welcome. Now all you gotta do is accept Jesus Christ as your savior and speak English. And also, probably, at some point some priests might come and touch you in your private place. You're welcome.'

As you might have guessed by now, I didn't really like this film. The only interesting thing is that he becomes so obsessed with helping the African orphans that he forgets to give a shit about his family and friends. That would have been a better film: him being so blinded by the need to 'do good' that he becomes an asshole. Also, it's only towards the end, when his friend dies, that he finally asks where God is, that he's through with Him. Okay... Your friend dying must be a horrible thing and I understand that your faith would be shaken. But I'd think you could have asked yourself this question when you saw a boy trigger a land mine. Or see a pile of burned children.

And then, as mentioned before, he goes full Rambo. I kept expecting him to shoot some military asshole in the face before ripping his clothes off and screaming: 'THIS IS... PENNSYLVANIAAAA!'

In concluding, respect to Childers for actually doing something and giving a shit and shooting what I like to call the Kony Kunts (it's got a good ring to it, no?). Helping because you care about other humans is great. Helping because you think God wants you to is weird, but okay, fine. As long as you don't indoctrinate the people you're helping, then good for you, good for them. There should be more people like that.

Hey, white Christians: you really wanna help Africa? I'd say either a)Leave it the fuck alone or b)Encourage the use of condoms.

Oh, but no, rubber on your dick's a sin! Plus if people suffer less, then you'd have no reason to go there and pretend to care.