A Little Bit Of Heaven

IMDb Link

Be warned that I am spoiling the hell out this film. Consider yourself warned. Because I've just warned you.

My guess is that '50/50' started a trend: cancer is funny. Or trying to be, anyway. This is the dawn of the age
of the cancom. The difference here though is that '50/50' isn't all that bad. But, well, I'll be as obvious as the writing for this film was: 'A Little Bit of Heaven' felt like 'A Little Bit of Hell.' Well, no that's too harsh. 'A Little Bit of Purgatory,' maybe.

This is the ultimate romcom and when I say romcom I really mean chick flick: You got the goofy lonely girl,
with the goofy friendly gay neighbour and the goofy best friend and the emotionally-distant father (which I am guessing is the writer's way of saying that if the main character is kind of a whore, it's because she's got
daddy issues) and the goofy mother. She's brilliant at what she does and there's even a scene with her and her BFF in a convertible, singing along to the radio, because that's a scene no one's ever scene before. Ever. Oh, and the romantic interest is kinda goofy, too. And the dog is goofy. And the clouds in the sky and the lawn and the streets.
All goofy as fuck. Because they're de-dramatizing cancer. So it's gotta be goofy.

One day there'll be a goofy film about a nuclear holocaust and a goofy film about Auschwitz and a goofy film
about rape.

So, yeah: Goofy antics, then cancer, but still goofy, with sad moments because, you know: cancer. And of course the doctor is the guy she falls for.

Apparently, with chemo or with clinical drugs, having a drink is totally okay. And you puke once, but it still
kinda looks adorable. And then you get half a million from your insurance, so of course you take your friends on a shopping spree, because as we all know health care in the US is totally free and money is so not important in any way.
Fuck! Half a million? That would probably not even cover her surgery! And I'm talking about the surgery alone, not even the time spent in hospital and the treatments after that. Because it's America, where rich people get to live (Hooray! Cheney got a new heart!) and poor people die in the muck, Middle-Age style, because fuck you poor people, I didn't go to medical school to work for free and, like, save lives.

This being said I can't help but wonder: Is Hollywood trying to glam the fuck out of cancer? It's like: yeah, it's kinda sad, but hey: let's laugh about it. This reminds me of the 'South Park' 'AIDS is funny' episode.

By the way, completely off topic, but the main character's called Marley. Is that, like, a total 'Fuck you, Owen, try to kill yourself over me again?' I don't know, I'm just asking. Plus she does indeed end up like the dog, except it's not as sad.

Yes: I get it that this is a romcom and it can't be too depressing, but then why not just do away with the whole cancer story? Or it's not a romcom at all, it's a 'dramatic comedy.' Dramcom. Or cancom. Or romcom. How about doing away with the whole 'com' thing, since it was funny to begin with.

She could have an ingrown toenail. Or a big nose pimple. Or an ingrown hair on her nipple. These are all funny (as long as you don't have them, and when you do it's the worst thing ever. Or so I've heard.)

Also, because this is a Hollywood film, New Orleans is totally cool and hip and clean and friendly. There are no shady dudes telling you to follow them in alleys so you can show them how much money you've got on you (yes, it's happened to me) or squirting cum-like substances on your shoes (that also happened to me). Then again... well... those guys probably got wiped out by Katrina.

But, still: no drunk tourists and puke-inducing street walkers?? Have the floods really cleaned up New Orleans?

But I am being unfair, they do try to show the 'crazy' side of New Orleans with transvestites! OMG! Transvestites! That's Hollywood's idea of crazy debauchery!

Now's also a good time to mention that Gabriel Garcia Bernal is playing a doctor named Goldstein.
A Jewish doctor from Mexico? What was the point of that? Did they not know how to use the 'Replace' function in their screenwriting software when Bernal agreed to it? Or is that a 'joke?'
Well, shit. It's a cancer comedy, so I suppose a Mexican Jew is hilarious.

Speaking of the doctor, let's analyze this relationship: Mr Dreamy-Doctor, who's so funny and cute and cool and awesome, well he's sleeping with a girl who's his good-looking patient, and who will most probably die (and she totally does). If you're afraid of commitment, this is the ultimate fling. Not sure how Hippocrates would feel about this. To be fair, SHE mentions that to him, but he ends up acting like a Turkish teenager and telling her he loves her after, like, a week. And so: wow: drama! Because cancer is not drama enough! And because the screenwriter learned that drama was needed in the third act, so of course it's there. Crying, falling down, screaming, clichés, etc... It actually feels like it was written by a big fan of Kübler-Ross.

Let me also add that the main character keeps being a total bitch to her mother. I get it that there's probably some history between the two, but we're never shown or told it. And Kathy Bates keep being nothing but nice, so the main character ends up looking like a total bitch. I think this might be the prequel to 'Misery.' It would explain so much.

And the main character also keeps teaching the kid that Barbie's totally fake and to answer: 'I'm not only pretty, I'm smart!' and that's cool. But meanwhile, the main character and her friend are sleeping around as if it was going out of style. Okay, good for them. But, come on: using your looks to fuck the shit out of the world? That shows that you're smart?
I know, it's all about woman power: it's women who choose when sex happens, women buy condoms, women fuck around and are successful, women decide when to break up or reinitiate a relationship. Sure.
But why do they still come off as being slutty? (even though, let me be clear, most totally aren't, although the
main character, by her own admition was oversexed as a kid)

Yeah, yeah: coz of the phallocentric propaganda being hammered into our brains from the time we are born until the time we die.
Grab your walkwoman, read a HERstory book and fuck off.

Before I get accused of being a heartless bastard, I have to say I've been feeling pretty emotional lately,
I've actually shed tears while watching 'Le Zapping' and have cried while watching a film not long ago (I won't tell you which one). So... I am not a robot. But this was so obviously trying to make me cry that it failed. Come on: the minute you hear one of the friend's pregnant, you KNOW she'll give birth at the same time as the main character dies (and it TOTALLY happens!)

And what's the message in the end? You suffer, you die and a little while later all the people you loved are dancing, drinking, having fun. The man you loved is flirting with women, your dog has forgotten you and your parents are in love again. In other words: your time here is completely pointless. You die, and oh well: People will move on.

Shit, maybe this was a pretty deep movie after all.

PS: Who's actually shorter? Peter Dinklage or Senior Bernal? Doesn't matter, I like them both. Just wondering.

PPS: What about this as an alternative title: 'Even Whores Get Cancer'
I'm kidding, Jesus, get off your high horse! Or your non-veritcally-challenged mare or whatever.