God Bless America

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Oh. My. God: There are other people out there who feel the same way I do.

I want to meet Mr Goldwaith and hug him and buy him a drink. And then punch him in the face, because fuck: I wish I'd written this film. Then hug him again, apologize for the punch, and buy him another drink.

How did this get passed the censorship bureau? I mean, the MPAA. And I'm sure that as soon as you buy this film or even add it to your cart (as I have), your get flagged by the CIA/FBI/NSA. Because, you know: freedom. And I certainly hope that Mr Goldwaith will enjoy the rest of his life in Gitmo. Because, you know, again: freedom.

This is pure unadulterated fun written by a funny and very pissed off man. (For the record, I enjoyed 'Shakes the Clown,' thinking it was kinda fucked up. But this is way more fucked up and better.)

The screenplay could have been written by the love child of George Carlin and Lewis Black. It decries all the absurdities of the modern US:. The mindless TV shows, the narrow-minded bigoted selfish 'patriots,' the lack of civilization and manners, the hypocrisy of the system, the lack of job security, the crumbling down of social interactions, the obsession with making everything 'extreme.' And high-fives. And Diablo Cody.

It's all there. I don't want to give you examples, because I don't want to spoil anything for you (for once), but the end message is: we've turned into a nation of spoiled brainless cunts.

I did say 'we.' I am American and I know I'm a brainless cunt. Which makes me slightly less brainless and less cunty by, well, a cunt's hair. But, to my credit, I made it out of the country before I turned into a complete robot (or did I? How can I know?).

So, back to the USA as a nation of cunts...
How did this happen? There was a time when saying you were American held some kind of positive meaning. These days, we're a nation of fat lazy hypocrites who support our troops, while turning a blind eye to the genocides happening around the world, and voting for the best New Jersey Douche, the Best Talentless Singer, the Most Fearless Dickwad, etc... etc... etc...
Reality TV? What kind of reality is this? It's certainly not MY reality. A bunch of rich whiny brats? That's not even escapism, or 'love to hate' kind of shit. It's pure and simple dumb entertainment. Makes me think of Frankie Boyle, wondering why TV execs bother with showing us these shows anymore since someone jangling a set of keys at the camera and saying 'Look at the shiny-shiny!' would serve the same purpose. And of course: 'Futurama's' Hypnotoad also comes to mind.

Hey, isn't it interesting that to berate pop culture, I've just used two examples from pop culture? It's a vicious circle. We're all fucked. And we're being fucked on a daily basis. The difference is that I know this is happening, so I lube up. It makes it less painful.

All I can say is that I agree 100% with everything the main character says and I've had the same fantasies he's having (involving a gun and obnoxious people).

Okay, not to sound like a gushing fan and to be fair: it does feel a bit like this film is a way for the writer/director to air out all of his grievances and the story, in the beginning, is a bit clichéd in a 'worst day ever' kind of thing. But then he decides to right all the wrongs. And it's awesome and it's violent and it's sometimes unexpected and the comedy is dark as hell.
There are also some rather big plot holes, but really: who cares? Also, my guess is that Mr Goldwaith is a big 'Man Bites Dog' fan.
To be even more fair, it does drag a wee bit towards the end, because it sometimes feels like Goldwaith is making a list of all the things he hates about modern-day America and we know how it's all going to end.

This film also reminded me of 'Falling Down,' where someone just can't take it anymore (yeah, like 'Network,' too) and in the end this person goes too far and is vilified and becomes the bad guy. Well, fuck: if being good means being a mindless robot-consumer, fine: label me a bad guy. Which now reminds me of a George Carlin quote: 'I guess I'm not a very good American, because I like to form my own opinions.'

Yes, they (the protagonists, not the filmmakers) take it a little too far and it makes you wonder, for a second: 'Well, did they really deserve to die?' Then you think: 'Is the world a better place without them?' And the answer is a loud, resounding 'YES.' So, murder is, well: murder. But then there's Darwinism. But also, there's a fine line between hero vigilante and homicidal maniac.
I guess, shit, bad news friend: but in the end you're gonna have to decide on your own what kind of people they are: heroes or maniacs. Or both. (This brings up yet another quote, from the 'Three Amigos:' 'We're just gonna have to use our brains. Damn it!')

So, yeah: I liked the film.

The opening scene alone, involving the neighbors, is priceless. I can imagine American audiences gasping and saying: 'Oh, my God' -or what would pass for that if you could understand them while they were shoveling popcorn in their mouths- and then they'd get up from their seats, mumbling 'I don't think that's funny. I'm sorry, I just don't think it's funny.' And they'd go back to the box office to get reimbursed (which would be a word they didn't understand) and they'd buy a ticket for 'The Avengers,' 'Titanic 3-D' or whatever else would prevent them from forming any kind of thought. And of course, on their way to the new film, they'd buy another tub of popcorn and an extra-large bucket of bubbly syrup.

Ah, fuck... We're doomed. I can hear Nero playing his fiddle.

In the end, I guess all I'm saying is that the American media are now a giant nation-wide Ludovico Treatment and we are grinning volunteers, turning into junkies, asking for more. Wake up, America! There's a whole world out there, where people don't need corn syrup in everything they eat, where health-care is not regarded as a Communist plot and where you don't have to be a hypocritical, politically-correct, asshole in your day-to-day life.

Wake up. Get up. Stand up. And, you know... the other things Bob Marley sang about. As Eddy Izzard, and the main character in this film, pointed out: we're the new Roman Empire and we're way past our glory.

PS: It is so perfectly serendipitous that I watched this film on July 4th.