Friday, November 18, 2011

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Might as well get this one out of the way...

If you're like 98% of the world, you've seen this film and you were conned into believing it was good.

It's not.

Okay: visually, it's stunning. But that's it. That's how people got conned. They see something beautiful and then they're too busy admiring the scenery and they forget to pay attention to the story.

The story, by the way, is: humans are bad and they destroy everything.

Wow. How edgy and unusual. The problem with this green message is that the people who actually got it think: "fucking ecologist propaganda! I know we're bad, I don't need to be told by James Cameron." The others didn't get the message because, it's like, you know: another planet and all. With giant smurfs. And crazy robots and bad military people and greedy capitalists. So, not like Earth at all.
Oh, and there's a wheelchair-bound guy, which is the only way the director got to make us like him. "Oh, no. Poor guy. He's in a wheelchair." Let's not dwell on the fact that he is a soldier. But he's a good soldier. Because he's in a wheelchair.
Gag me with a spoon.

Hey, pop quiz. Answer the following questions:

1. The girl hates the guy at first. Do you think they'll fall in love?
2. A guy in the tribe REALLY hates the protagonist in the beginning. Do you think they'll end up respecting each other?
3. Do the capitalists and the soldiers win in the end?
4. When the protagonist is told that very few people throughout history were able to ride some kind of giant mean bird, do you think he will end up riding the giant mean bird?

If you're not sure what the answer to any of these questions is, then this film is for you. I bet you loved Titanic, too.

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