Hachi: A Dog's Tale

IMDb Link

If I criticize this film, I'll sound like a heartless asshole.

So be it.

Actually, it's not the story, or the film in itself, I would like to talk about, it's more about Lasse Hallström...

First, when your first name almost is the name of a famous Collie who rescues toddlers in wells, I guess you're bound to make films called 'My Life as a Dog' and 'A Dog's Tale.' Technically, both titles would be okay for this film.

Like most Hallström films, there are 'aww' moments and then the bastard starts thugging at your heart strings with death and sadness and sad music and close-ups of sad people. He wants you to cry.

Hallström is a sadist.

He pulls all the tricks:
Close-ups of a puppy. Awww.
A puppy looking all sad and cute. Awww.
A grown dog loving his master. Awww.
A dog looking all sad and worried. Awww.
Wimpers. Awww.

If on top of that you put string music or piano music, or both, then the awws turn into a cry-fest. I mean, I am aware of those tricks. I knew how it was gonna end.
And, yes, for fuck's sake: I shed tears. Okay, maybe I'm not heartless after all.

But, let's get back to the film. I guess I will criticize the story a wee bit after all. We get it that the dog loves Richard and Richard loves the dog, but it kind of goes on and on. What's the point of the skunk episode, for example?
The POVs of the dog were nice, but I sometimes thought Hachi was going to go Cujo on the wife. That would have been cool.
But no, Hachi is the nicest, most loyal dog in the world. And a bit stubborn. And, if you ask me, perhaps not the brightest crayon in the box. I mean, at some point, the dog's gotta understand what's going on and give the fuck up.

Plus, we are shown the pound in the beginning. A dog running around without a collar doesn't end up in the pound?
I guess even Lasse couldn't show us Hachi getting put to sleep. But imagine the violins swelling and the audience, not merely shedding tears, but crying like hungry two-month-olds who have dirty diapers. But it's based on a real story, so I guess he couldn't do that. Because filmmakers always stick to the truth.

So Hachi is cute as hell. The story's cute. You cry, you go 'awww.' It's a Lasse Hallström film. If you want to see a film that will make you cry, this film is for you. It's a good date film. Your date will cry and you'll be able to console her. And you'll cry and she'll get to see your sensitive side. And before you know it, you'll adopt a dog and move in together. But then you'll split up and fight about who keeps the dog and you'll be hoping that your dog is like Hachi and will love you forever. But the dog doesn't give a shit, he's sleeping on the floor, farting contentedly and will be happy as long as he gets food when he demands it. So you'll end up living on your own, alone, without your dog. Then you'll turn into an alcoholic, lose your job, and then your sanity. And you'll be 'that weird guy at the bus stop.'
All because of this film.

PS: Only in films do you not see dogs shitting and pissing on floors. And humping every leg that walks past.