That's What I Am

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There is so little to say about this film that it's gonna be short and to the point, unlike this movie.

It feels like an after-school special from beginning to end. It's a film to teach you about tolerance. They even have a scene where someone reads the definition of tolerance for the morons who don't know what it is.

Here are the lessons you learn in 90 minutes:
You shouldn't bully other kids because it makes them sad, and they are people, too.
You shouldn't spread gossip, because it hurts people.
You shouldn't hate homosexuals, because they are people, too.
Bullies are bullies because of their parents. Even bullies are people, too.
Children need affection.
And once you get to know the so-called freaks, you realize that... gues what? Yes: they are people, too!

In fact it's all over the place, it's like it doesn't know what message to teach so it decided to teach all of them and it therefore lacks focus. I'm surprised there isn't anything about racism. Or safe sex.

Seriously: a thirty-second PSA would have been enough and it would have served the same purpose. Except that I wouldn't have wasted 90 minutes. And I wouldn't have had to suffer through the main kid trying to act. Is he the producer's kid? Surely there are more talented children out there. Or the director could have done a better job. He could have talked to him and threatened to unleash the inner demons of Ed Harris on him. Speaking of Mr Harris, his character is supposed to be a great teacher, but apparently all he does in class is read. When he doesn't read, he cries and tells his children he doesn't feel like teaching.

Finally, the voice over is pointless and flat and unfunny. It tries to be 'A Christmas Story,' or maybe even 'The Wonder Years.' But it's not. Well, it does feel like an extra-long episode of 'The Wonder Years,' except that the kid can't act and it's boring.
It tries to be nostalgic, but it fails at it.
I think it tries to be touching, but it's not.
Sometimes, good heavens, it tries to be cute and amusing. 'Tries' is the key word.

Sure, it's good to have a positive message, but the idiots who need this kind of message won't be watching this film, so what's the point?

I really wanted Ed Harris to look at the kids and scream: 'Fuck the whole lot of you, I'm going back to Wisconsin!'

So, yeah: I was bored. That's what I was.