Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Right off the bat, two things are proven: Michael Cera is a weird-looking geek who needs a haircut (it's even mentioned in the film!). And now that he looks scrawny, he looks like Big Bird on crack. Yeah, Big Bird ain't that thin at first glance, but he's tall, he's got a big frame. He's not that fat, so shut up. Oh, and the second thing that is proven: 17-year-old Asian girls are hot. In the States, a 22-year-old dating a 17-year-old is gross and a big no-no that could land you in jail (but, however, moreover, in contrast, contrarily, in Prague a  26-year-old dating a 17-year-old is totally normal. Or so I've heard... but, fuck: as shown in this film, it's only teenage girls who'll play video games with you! Or so I've heard...). Anyway, the actress is 25, so perv' away, it's legal!

I know I'm gonna sound like an old-fart here, and I guess I am since I am about to write this shit, but: what's up with the whole 70s look? Really. I mean bad hair and heroin-chic, really? For a brief moment, I guess that look was (almost) cool in 2001. Then The Gap took it over and it became mainstream and it's just fucking annoying. Those kids these days.

Also, once upon a time, people actually wrote original screenplays. Then there were novel adaptations. Now there's a bucket-load of graphic novels no one ever heard of (and when I say 'no one,' I obviously mean me). But you know what? Even though Edgar Wright looks a bit like a cock, he's a good director. 'Shaun of the Dead' is great. This is not so bad, with the graphic-novel onomatopeias seen on screen and the 'Fight Club' room-cataloguing-thingy. His camera's still vivacious (yes, that's right: vivacious) and there are many very nice shots. I also admit that the pixelated Universal logo with the Atari-like music was really cool. Even the Oliver Stone mock-sitcom shitck was okay. But what was up with that first fight sequence? I see what they were going for, but... I don't know... The final line was cool, but still... what the fuck??
But then it happens again and strangely enough: it makes sense. And then it happens again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And... well... we get it already!

Kieran Culkin's all grown up, that's weird. And he's so grown-up and cool he plays a cool gay guy. Getting raped by Macaulay and his entourage when they were both pre-pubescent probably helped him to prepare for the role.

And not to go back to Mr Cera here, but is he the only actor available to play confused geeks these days? Confused geeks who play guitar? With bad hair? With a forever-there smirk glued on his face? The kid needs to eat something, soon he's gonna have to take out a rib or two to look skinnier. Eat Michael, don't do it to yourself! Stay the chubby geek we've come to love. Well... like. Now, you just look like a confused teenage lesbian with cirrhosis. And that's cool. At least you get lucky with cool chicks with great bodies in films ('It still counts' says Ben Stiller). Not bitter. At all. Fucker.

But I still would have stayed on with the Asian teen, especially since her 18th birthday was coming up. But that's just me. Really: not bitter. I'm as pathetic as he is. Except not in films, and not skinny. And instead of writing songs, I write 'poetry' (and that shit doesn't work in real life, let me tell you). I don't get the girls. But, you know, that's cool.

Fucker.

Okay, okay, I sound cynical, but only to stay in tune with the film. Fact is, it was cute and amusing and it covered my neighbor's incredibly loud TV for a couple of hours.
It's a Nintendo's fan wet dream come true, it's a comic book-fan wet's dream come true. It's a nerd's dream come true. It is fun, I admit it (because I am a nerd, yes). Some lines are funny: 'He punched the highlight out of her hair!' 'You cocky cock!' And making fun of vegans is always good. And as the other Wright films, the attention to details is quite impressive. One day, students will write about Wright and teachers will get hard-ons analyzing his films. Plus, they're fun. The films, I mean, not the hard-ons. Although they're kinda fun, too.

So, this is an over-the-top-film, but it's conscious of its campyness (or is it campiness? Campy-ness? Whatever.)... As such it's fun, if a bit too long. 3 or 4 exes (ex's? X's? Xs? Fuck it.) would have been enough, though. But I'm also guessing this is the kind of film that gets better the more you watch it, like the other Wright films.

Wright reminds me of Boyle. Boyle had great stories to tell and told them in a very fun visual way. But I'm afraid Wright will soon direct his Slum-Dog bullshit.  Oh, well. We'll always have 'Shaun'... And, yes, also: 'Scott.'